My speech on blondes!

How many brunettes does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to hold the light bulb and one to spin the ladder.

Just because people have blonde hair doesn’t mean they are dumb. Anyone can do something stupid. And you know what; I’ve even got proof of that. I know a brunette (Kim) who tried to put a toaster in the fridge... not toast, a TOASTER! And she’s got brown hair, not blonde.

I also sit beside someone who was highly surprised to learn that I’m in the top spelling group in the class, and I’m also in the highest maths class in the syndicate. So blondes aren’t dumb, many are actually highly intelligent.

Hey, did you hear how the redhead broke her leg raking leaves?

She fell out of the tree.

Blondes always get picked on because of our hair colour!! It’s not fair! My brother always picks on me and calls me “thick” just because my hair is blonde. I guess people may stereotype us blondes as dumb, because deep down they are really quite jealous of us! Blondes are fun to be around; they are sporty, intelligent, good looking, have a great sense of humour, and the list keeps going... So once you get over your jealousy of blondes, just except that we will always be in your life.

And I reckon blondes are cleverer than brunettes and red heads anyway.

Why did the brunette get so excited after she finished her jigsaw puzzle in only six months?

Because on the box it said “from 2-4 years”

Some extremely famous blondes have achieved some good things, like Princess Diana who was a popular international icon in the 80’s, 90’s. She gained some of her recognition for her charity work and her efforts to ban land mines. There are many other examples of famous blondes such as Marilyn Monroe and Madonna as well as Cameron Diaz, Reese Witherspoon and Ashley Tisdale.

How do you keep a person with black hair busy?

Write “Please turn over,” on both sides of a piece of paper.

But I do have to confess there was one time when I did something just a little stupid. This little accident happened at school not so long ago. I was getting off the computer after playing marble blast, and I was wearing headphones for some reason. I got up and started walking away with the headphones still on my head! I completely forgot! OOOPS. At least someone told me before I yanked the computer off the desk and caused a minor catastrophe.

Why do brown hair teachers smile during lightning storms?

They think their picture is being taken.

So sure, blondes do do some stupid or silly things, but then so do brunettes, redheads and others. So some of us clever blondes have decided to start a new movement. Maybe when someone with brown hair acts like a plonker or does something stupid we can say, “Oh, what a brunette!”

Then is it ok if I make fun of you guys if you do something stupid just like you make fun of blondes. I just know you would not appreciate being called names all the time would you? Because us blondes don’t.

Did you hear about the redhead who shot an arrow into the air?

She missed.

If a blonde and a brunette jumped off a bridge, who would die first?

The blonde - because the brunette would have to stop and ask for directions.

I did so well with my speech that it made its way all the way to the yr7 speech final, unfortunately I didn't place.